Ratmannnn
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Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
Sentimental Christmas Journey to Montgomery!
Part one, the Trip Up!
Christmas night Hot Corey came over and looked at what Santa had left him in his stocking. We all had fine visitation late that Christmas night which was Wonderful because Christmas afternoon ann night can very easily be the most somber sad time of year. I opened a present Hot Corey gave me that he had wrapped witha Little help from his Ma! It was a handsome package wrapped with leftover pieces of different wrapping paper and band aids used in place of tape. It was a package straight from Charlie Browns Christmas Tree and looked like it had fell out of Santa's sleigh and dropped miles into a pile of reindeer dung. Hot Corey was proud of it and inside was a James Bond model as Corey and I Loves some 007!
We snacked and arfed and realized we all needed to end the lovely get together and get some rest for the next Days trip. Hot Corey arrived as promised around 9 in the Morning bringing a plat of Goodies he had baked with his Mum. He had sleepy eyes and was Hongry as Heather. I was trying to burn a cd of our biggest hits to listen to on the trip. We left the house at 10 instead of 9 and stopped for Breakfast at McDonalds instead of somewhere good like IHOP or Waffle House. Hot Corey and I both had big breakfast and each time I would sit down he would mention he wished he had some syrup for his biscuit and other stuff. I had to go back again for mayonaise for the Brat and her Beaus chicken biscuit and again as i had no hashbrown in my breakfast as Hot Corey grabbed the one they gave us.
Afterwards Hot Corey went to the crapper and came back fast as he said some guy sounded like he was giving birth in one of the stalls. We were then on the road to Montgomery. The entire trip Hot Corey and another person in the car had a gas passing competition and of course I was in the back seat with Corey the whole trip up and the child lock on the windows so I could get no relief. I did have the forthought to bring a box of matches so when they fired air biscuits I conter attacked with matches as the sulphur kills the smell of rotten methane gas. We laughed and told lies and picked on Hot Coreys 'Love Making' ways and teased him each time we passed a certain landmark store that he and his sweety had an emergeny humping session once behind the store.
When we crossed into Alabama we stopped at the first rest area. First two things I noticed was a black man with a black woman of all things and we parked uder a sign that read "Please place watermelon rinds here". So naturally we got our picture under the sign. I told Corey after seeing these two things "You can tell you are in Alabama" and I meant this as a term of indearance to my fave State. We saw many kind folks who had good manners and I asked if he ever saw this kind of decent folks back Home in Florida and he said "not very often". I walked up to the pisser while the rest walked out in a nice open field. The Sun was shining and the wind was cold and it was very nice and lots of red leaves on the trees. Hot Corey was walking to the pisser as I came back and we ran at each other like Atouk and Lar in Caveman when they find each other again. When he came back he had a camellia flower he had picked off the bush to give to my Oldest Brat. This was the first illegal and disrespectful thing Hot Corey and I did on this trip though none was meant to be disrespectful.
On the way up we went through cotton country and most of the cotton fields had already been harvested but there was much loose on the ground by the road that had fell of the trucks taking it to the cotton gin. We did not pick any up this time but I usually do. We Loved the cow pastures as they were rolling and beautiful as were all the feed silos and such. We saw one cotton field that was not picked yet and it was on rolling hills and the Sun as shining on the cotton just right. Wished we had stopped and taken a picture of it cause you don't see that perfect combonation of events very often. We went around Dothan on the Circle around town looking for the Drive In Theatre there so we could get info on that nights show in case we came back through in time to go. Usually I like to go through town as there is a big hump that makes your stomach jump when you drive over it. I took LL over it once and my tradition is not to tell them it is coming up. We did go over it on the way Home that night but the Brat missed it as she was alseep.
---
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12/27/2005, 1:57 pm
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Alfonso AbsorbineJr
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
Part 2, The Montgomery Visit!
We soaked up the pretty trees and pastures and the Brat seemed to enjoy the Country Homes with beautiful when bare pecan trees as much as I did. We got to Montgomery about 2:30 or so and stopped at Krystal Burgers on the way to the cemetary. We got a box of burgers and some fries and a 50 gallon drum of drink apiece as well as some Krystal bumper stickers. Corey again got to experience the kind old fashioned manners of Alabama folks. I wanted the Holiday hours window clinger and the manager said I could have it but that it was glued up and not a static clinger. Corey reminded me of our last trip to Krystal on our trip last year to Titusville to pick up the half queer. We enjoyed the pretty old Homes and businesses in Montgomery on our way to the Grave Yard. When we got there i told the Brat where to turn to get to her Grandparents gravesite. We looked down one road where my Uncle Thomas and Aunt Jessie are layed and someone was being buried at that moment next to them so we did not stop.
We got to Ma and Daddys grave and a man was racking pinestraw. We were taking pictures and in typical kind Southern Hospitality he offered to take a picture of all of us in front of the Grave. I put a piece of candy (Cream Drops) in front of their Graves as that is one candy they always had for us at Christmas. other graves had Christmas Wreaths and such on them and I put a cream drop. I think Ma and Daddy would understand my thoughts. I took a picture of Ma and Daddy when they were young and dressed up walking down Dexter Avenue in Montgomery and sat it on the head stone while we were there. Hot Corey will try to tell you that I tinkled on a head stone. I was miles away from a terlet and have had the bladder of Heather of late and had to go like a Russian Race Horse. I hunted up a bush I could hide behind. It was either this or mess up my trousers. When I was done the others came over and made comments. Brat scolded me because I had abused someones headstone. I said it could not be helped and I apoligized to the folks. Also aim is a problem sometimes. Hot Corey laughed and asked if it was necesary for me to have spelt out my name. This was our second so called disrespectful act while on our trip, the first ebing Hot Coreys theiving the flower at the State run rest area. Neither action was made with harmful intent.
We had eaten our burgers while sitting in the car next to Ma and Pa. Olden times people used to take a picnic to the cemetary on the Day they went to clean the weeds and such from their loved ones resting place. So I did not feel we were being rude eating in the cemetary. We looked at my Parents Grave and told stories and took pictures. Having the video camera one of us suggested that Hot Corey and I walk off into the distance and walk towards the camera walking like Zombies. We are all Zombie movie and Halloween fans as well as all having a warped sense of humour. Again this was not meant to be disrespectful. My Oldest Brat said "Daddy, you are walking more like a challenged person than a Zombie". Instead of moaning the Zombie line "Brains Brains" Hot Corey the Love Making Fool was saying "Leg Leg'! I was pointing at my head and saying "No Brains, No Brains" and no one disagreed with that statement. We watched others visiting their Loved Ones this day after Christmas and made notice of the sad fact that many funeral canopies were up all over the cemetary each indicating someone had recently passed on. We visited the many Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents we have buried in that cemetary as well. Saw nos sign reading "LL has stood Here".
I talked Hot Corey the Love Making King into posing next to a head stone with the name 'Screws' on it. I saw many more names that he could have posed by (Layman, Cox,) but they decided they had humoured my warped ways enough. We left the cemetary and went next door to the old unkept black cemetary with caved in graves and such. saw a bunny rabbit run through but they were all scared as it was dark now. Last year we had seen either a fox or a coyote run through there. We then headed downtown to show Corey and the Brats sweety Downtown Montgomery and the Capitol building. I had them drive donw one road so we could drive up Dexter avenue and see the capitol at the top of the hill as we approached it. The Chrsitmas decorations were on all over downtown and you could see the lit Christmas tree at the top of the Capital steps. Just before the Capitol is the Church hwere Martin Luther King Jr started before going to Atlanta. We drove around the Capitol and I showed them where my Grandparents lived when I was born but moved to the Country before i was old enough to have any memories of the place. I also told them that as a boy daddy used to slide on a piece of cardboard on the grass off the hill the Capitol was on. I also told them My Grandfather had been involved in a restoration of the Capitol all those years ago and his story of how one of his black workers had fell off the capitol and died.
We parked right at the front steps and all 3 of the youngters were impressed that Montgomery has parking meters and they put change in it and took pictures. We walked up the steps and Hot Corey picked up a few pecans that had fell from the big pecan tree in front of the building. I asked him how many Capitol buildings would have a pecan tree in front. The Christmas tree is a live tree that had been planted no telling how many years ago. Most all the Family that could maybe tell us when it was planted we had just vistied at the cemetary. We took pictures the tree and i I mentioned to them to notice no sign of security guards, cameras, fences and so forth. Not necesary here in Montgomery Alabama. Montgomery has crooks and vandles but even they have respect enough to not mutilate historic property as a rule. The kids were impressed when i told them this was the original capitol of the Confederate States. There is a gold star at the top of the steps at the capitool front door where Jefferson Davis was inaguarated as the President of the Confederacy, within view of Martin Luther King Jr's Church and mayhaps where Rosa Parks got on that infamous bus ride. The front doors of the building were huge old wood doors. The Pilings reminded us of the White House and I told them that they were probably shipped by train or ship from out West were marble and granite come from.
:ha:
--- Where be all da white wimmins be at?
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12/27/2005, 2:36 pm
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L L
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
And a MOST LOVING family time is had by all !!!!
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12/27/2005, 3:05 pm
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Alfonso AbsorbineJr
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
Thanks as I type more. Think Big Johnson will post the next part!
:JIMK:
--- Where be all da white wimmins be at?
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12/27/2005, 3:11 pm
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Big Johnson
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
Part 3, the Montgomery Visit Continued
We all walked around the capitol grounds, took pictures by statues on one hte steps as well as one I hope turns out. i asked the Brat to try and take a picture of the view of the Western sky from the Capitol steps. There was a Beautiful sunset and the hill going down Dexter Avenue with all the Christmas lights on was stupendous. I then felt the Russian race horse bladder attack and was again nowhere near a terelt. I knew it was very ungroovy but I found a bush by one of the statues and let it roar. I am sure Jefferson davis had wet on the grounds before and I was not doing it as a mean spirited thing but as an emergency action. The others came over and looked at the statue and told me I had wet on the statue of the 'Father of Modern Gynecology'. Guess it couldn't be any worse than the Ladies posing in liverpool with their hand holding the crotch of John Lennon's Statue. Ofd course I had to have a photo of Love Making King Hot Corey in front of the statue of the 'Father of Modern Gynecology'. I then lit up a cigar in the clear cold breezy Montgomery Christmas night and said "I think it is illegal to smoke on Goverment property" and the Brat's Sweety wins the unofficial 'Phunnie of the Week' with his response "Well, you've already pissed on it"!
We left the Capitol and drove down Dexter avenue thinking of all our Elders and ancestors who had spent amny an hour on that street back when it was the main drag in Montgomery. I showed them 'Chris's Hot Dog' stand that had been there forever and the old 'Kress Dime Store' building where n=my Aunt worked forever and my older Brothers and Sisters have memories that i don't of the place. We went to the paper rack to get a Montgomery Christmas paper but no Sunday papers were left. I did get a copy of that Days paper (Monday the 26th0. We took a picture of Love Making King Hot Corey in front of a store called 'looking Good' as that is his slogan. We then rode around looking at the old buildings and wishing Marie,Ma, daddy or one of my older Brothers were there to tell more than I knew about each and every building. We went and Looked at the old train depot (LL was here) and many other old things while the sky was clear and the wind was cold and all the decorations were on and the streets fairly deserted except for a couple of all night diners and a taxi and the occasional policeman.
We had also drove by my Grandparents Home and my Oldest has memories of it with My parents and me when we would go there for the Weekend as Daddy had kept the House after his parents had died. She wanted to see the corner 'Dairy Queen' where we would go on saturday nights. Earlier before the Capitol visit we had went to an old cemetary in town after we went by my Grandparents Home. We went down a big hill that us kids useed to beg Daddy to drive us down as it was so steep. I earlier had shown them as well the street where the House my Parents got married in was.
LL has been to this old cemetary (St Mary's I think it is called). We went to hank Williams grave and took pictures and admired the Twilight as the sun had gone down behind the hills and the Montgomery skyline. We drove around this massive old cemetary and looked at the Confedarte Soldiers Graves and the many old graves. Across the street was Crampton Bowl where on Mothers Day of 1938 my Grandfather had his fatal stroke during a baseball game.
After we left downtown we heaed for the Southern Bypass to eat at the 'Cracker Barrel' even though we were still not hungry from having eat a belly full of Krystal burgers. This Cracker Barrel Restuarant is next to the MOTEL we all usually stay in for each funeral. If you are not familiar, Cracker Barrel serves old Country cooking in a wood Home atmosphere with old metal signs and Home items from the past. They also have a large fireplace which was not lit this day. I went to the Crapper and someone had writen their name in shat on the stall wall. Cracker Barrel has a fun filled old timey country store insde and we enjoyed it going in, while waiting for Dinner and when we left. They have old candies, Country cookbooks, old timeys kids toys, Coca Cola items, Sooting music cd's and much more. We bought the Youngset Brat a ice cream shaped Chrsitmas cookie jar as all Chrsitmas stuff was half off so we could almost afford it. Next to us is what i think is so sad. An old man eating alone. Especially the Day after Christmas. Out front there are rocking chairs for sale and available for sitting while visiting the Cracker Barrel.
---
"Me and Mrs Jones, we got a thang going on"
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12/27/2005, 3:45 pm
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Big Johnson
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
Part 4, the Trip Home!!
We finally left and it was already after 7 or so and 4 plus hours away from Home. We were in no hurry and enjoying trip. Hot Corey and I were now the pilot and Co-pilot and we put in the Beebo's Hits cd and larfed. I stopped for gas and bought a bag of pork rinds to open in Hot Coreys face as they stink bad when opened but he has a good memory of me and the smell of pork rinds. We drove in the cold clear night on the Alabama Highway and larfed and talked and their cheese cutting contest resumed. Luckily now I had control of the Child Lock situation. We ran into a little fog and lookeed at the pretty decarions on the Homes out on the highway. We stopped at one Fireworks stand (Firewaroks are illegal in Florida so you have to buy them in Alabama) and it was closed so 2 of us did the Russian Race Horse thing behind the building. After Corey recieved his 30th call on his Cellular Telepohone he said next time he was turning it offt. His Galfriend called the most as she was off the Day after Christmas as well. Must have been upset that Corey was not at her beckon Call all day. I must admit he is strong that way and does not let her try and dominate him.
We finally about 11:30 or so arrived at JR's Fireworks stand at the State line. They are staying open 24 hours a day through New Years. We spent an hour or so in there and it was fun. I asked if they had any Black Cat Firecracker posters but he said no. The clerk was a kind funny feller who threw in some extras and gave us a free mini fireworks display outside outside. He straightened me out on what firework i always thought was called a Negro Chaser. We talked about M-80's and Cherry Bombs and stink bombs, bottle rockets and roman candles. I do not care anymore for loud stuff but did buy a big pack of Black Cat Firecrackers. Also got some bottle rockets, stink bombs, roman candles and other stuff. I also bought a chicken statue wrapped in a Confederate flag. I asked the Oldest if a certain Chicken fan would enjoy one of those and she thought not as it had the Confederate flag on it. Her Sweety bought his friend in californy a 5 dollar rebel flag and bought himself a tile thing with Alabama on it. Hot Corey bought a sack full of stuff as well. He wanted to buy some cigarette loads to use on me but they were out.
This place had all kinds of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood things on the walls as well as Alabama Football items and Confederate stuff. he said he prefers new Years over the 4th of July because the 4th of July they get alot of teenage smart arsed drunk college kids going to the beaches!
I forgot to mention we stopped at My Sisters Grave on the way up and we could see her Hubby siting in the yard of the Home they shared on the other side of the small cemetary. He lives there now with the Woamn he got pregnant while my Sister was dying of cancer. I also forgot to mention that the waitress at Cracker Barrel was a pretty girl next door type. Kinda short and a little meat on her bones which makes her more realistic than the fake skinny blond skinny fake boob gals you see alot. Corey and I fell in Love with her but he deserted her when one of those fake blonds walked in. So now the waitress was all mine.
The rest of the trip Home was uneventful as it was after Midnight now and I was trying to keep my eyes open and stop swerving all over the road. I did the Russian Racehorse out in the dark yard and Hot Corey noticed I did not tinkle on ma's car like I had the grave stone and the statue earlier in the Day. Hot Corey went Home and we went inside to settle down for a long winters Nap. I almost got on the computer but decided against it. So I got my Coke bottle filled with water, a bottle of aspirin and some Tums and after a bit of wandering around settled down on the sofa and watched a bit of Holiday tv before falling asleep facing the Christmas tree which was the only light in the room. And as the saying goes, "All was right with the World"! Merry Christmas Ma and Daddy!!
Robbie Boy (Hickory Nut Head)
---
"Me and Mrs Jones, we got a thang going on"
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12/27/2005, 4:14 pm
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L L
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
Quite an adventure indeed!!!! Glad you got home safe and sound.
*sends lists of restaurants, roadside rest areas, service stations, and fast food establishments with rest rooms....
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12/27/2005, 4:55 pm
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Big Johnson
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
No practice with the restroom problem as up until recently it was no problem to hold it!
---
"Me and Mrs Jones, we got a thang going on"
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12/27/2005, 5:00 pm
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tkitna
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
Good reading as usual! We need and demand more.
---
Winner of EIGHT Phunnies and counting!
Winner of TWO Moondog Fantasy Football titles and counting!
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12/28/2005, 12:18 am
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the poil
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Re: Christmas Trip to Montgomery with Hot Yule Log Corey!
thanks for the reading ratty...sounds like a wonderful trip
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12/28/2005, 1:45 am
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